Picture the inside of your wrist. Your wrist is a circular bone. Inside of your wrist there is a spinal cord running from your arm to your hand. Every one of the million times a day that you hit a key on your keyboard your hand moves down and the circular wrist bone hits the wrist spinal cord. Then the wrist spinal cord get inflamed and injured and the carpal tunnel person has arrived to ruin your life. The prevention and the cure is to stop your hand from moving down. You do this by going out to the store and buying two nicely fitting wrist splints with an iron bar running along the bottom which prevents your hand from moving down every time you hit the keys.
The key to happiness in life is to eliminate all of the men. Now that we can freeze sperm and clone who needs them? They buy you a new computer, profess their undying love to you and a month later they can’t remember your name. Another cool trick is to forget the proper way of typing. Begin to hunt and peck and never use your thumbs. The second that you use your thumb your hand rolls over and you are well on your way to Carpalville Ohio. It is also bad to use a roll mouse because rolling down the page leads to index finger pain which can easily add 6 shots to your handicap.
Your computer monitor and hard drive and cell phone are all giving off cancer causing radiation which causes stress, irritability, erectile dysfunction and finally cancer. It is well known that cell phones cause brain cancer. The antenna placed close to your head in frying your brain. The cell phone makers know this and market their most expensive models like Carol Alt as having the least amount of radiation. If you go to the health show in your city you will find booths with people selling little metallic circular stickers which when placed on your monitor and hard drive and cell phone actually eliminate the deadly radiation. In your search engine boxes type in cell phone radiation and you will find the solution to the problem that you didn’t even know that you had.
People think that because they cannot see something like a radio signal that it doesn’t exist. Here is a coded message to all Al Qaeda members: Don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got, I’m still Jen Jen Jenny from the block. Osama Bin Laden is sitting in his cave grooving to the new J Lo DVD but his doctor Ayman Al Zwahiri can’t do a darn thing for his carpal tunnel syndrome.
All of that instant messaging with Jenna Bush as he pretends to be Professor Ernst Kirkland from the Kabul Institute of Technology has finally caught up with him. What the combined forces of Britain and the United States could not do Steve Jobs has done. He has brought Osama Bin Laden to his knees. And those are the bees knees. Attention all CIA agents. Bees are little insects that fly around biting people.
Dallas, Texas, USA
Palmerston, Northern Territory,
Guatemala, Guatemala City
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